Bill Arey
- Kjelder
- Mar 4
- 2 min read
I am in trouble.
I have been attending St Albans for 8 years now.....but my connection with St Albans dates back to the late 1970's when first experienced the great acoustics while playing duo classical guitar concerts. I have served on the Stewardship Committee for several years, as well as leading the world renowned St Alban's Ukulele Orchestra, and regularly serve in various capacities during Sunday services.
Verses
9 Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am in trouble; *
my eye is consumed with sorrow,
and also my throat and my belly.
10 For my life is wasted with grief,
and my years with sighing; *
my strength fails me because of affliction,
and my bones are consumed. Psalm 31:9-10
Devotional
Psalm 31:9–10 feels like someone finally stopping the spin and telling the truth. Not just to God, but to himself. “I am in trouble.” That’s harder to say than it sounds. Most of us, myself included, quickly tell ourselves and others that we are fine, rather than admit we are actually in distress. But this psalm doesn’t do that. It names what hurts, and it notices how deeply it hurts. Eyes tired from crying. A throat tight with swallowed words. A body carrying more than it should have to.
Real prayer seems to start with real honesty. And honesty, especially with ourselves, is often the biggest challenge. Being truly honest with yourself is one of the greatest challenges we face throughout most of our lives. I find as I have advanced in years, I have a bit more capacity for reflection.
“Have mercy on me, O Lord.” That’s not a prayer you pray when you’re still pretending you’ve got it together. It’s what you say when you finally admit you don’t. And maybe that’s where God meets us—not in our carefully managed versions of ourselves, but in the place where we stop pretending we are in control.
Lament isn’t faith giving up. It’s faith being honest enough to breathe again and practice sweet surrender to the source of eternal love and forgiveness.
